The 1

“What’s your bike’s cc?” were the first few words I spoke to him. It was one way of bragging “I ride a gear bike too, you know?” and he understood. I didn’t listen to what he said for my mind was busy processing his image, side by side preparing the next few questions to ask. We worked for the same company and one fine morning, I saw him at the parking lot. My heart was jumping in joy for I was going to keep my bike next to his. Being pathetic at math, I couldn’t recollect his number plate. There was 8 and 6. But his image along with the bike got plastered inside my head. His strong jaw, always-2-day beard (classic Mallu style), his long legs and perfect ass; Ha, what more would I’ve asked for. Impeccable eye contact, slight lisp, loud laugh, light attitude and cute smile were the icing on this cake. Have I really found the one, I wondered. And the rounds began.

Marriage is every girl’s dream and nightmare. May be because it is so confusing, some girls start the selection process from childhood. As a firm believer of *Footwear and husband are the most difficult and important decisions for a girl*, I started with the guy I played *doctor-doctor* and *teacher-student* with. He lost points after he grew permanent teeth.  Also because I joined a cooler school where I met my childhood sweetheart. It lasted longer than I thought for the guy got cuter each year! I changed school again, thanks to the RAMAN gang. Everyday cycle rides were combined with Hanuman Chaalisa on the lips and a silent prayer to accidentally run into him. And I did, 8 years later, just to learn he had moved on to an high school sweetheart.

Every guy went through this rigorous evaluation process in my head which was more complicated than Google’s. There was just seeing, seriously seeing, just talking, friends, good friends and close friends. Or, it took a diversion from talking to flirting, going out, dating, relationship and serious relationship.

Generally, moms play a major role in this process. They read minds and voice their opinions out loud. You follow a guy with your eyeballs till your sight can reach and she knows. Even the slightest of the smiles you try to hide on hearing his name, leads to an hour long questioning. And by chance your opinions on the guy don’t match, hell breaks loose. Mine was no exception.

Yet, somehow, this guy slid through all the rounds with ease. Influencers (read: Parents) were convinced and the buck stopped with the RAMAN gang. “Machi, please marry him”, they said. And I am.

Except for the increase in the Malayalam accent in Tamil and English, one year has gone by without boredom and regrets. I really had found The 1.

Happy first year to me.

Jigardhanda- Best served cold

“Machi it is good it seems d” was how it started. Friendship day meeting had Jigardhanda as one of the topic of discussion. It made me recollect all the retweets by Siddharth on my wall. To justify the hype, RAMAN gang made the plan. As usual, 2/5 were busy and I, after an exhausting previous day needed a break. There were more retweets. Impossible to resist the pressure, I made a call to Inox, Virugambakkam.

I rushed from work and two VIPs (abbreviation of the recent Dhanush movie) reached much before. We had top row seats and felt blessed. Siddharth’s half shaven head appeared. None of us had any expectations from the movie. Camera turned to his face. We showed no reaction. Popcorn and Pepsi came by and so did the villain.

That was the first time after long, the hand to mouth coordination missed. Popcorn lost its taste. All of us fell for the well bearded Simha. (Ha, How ideally named!) And the hooting began. Demonstrations of his ruthlessness proceeded to the interval and the 3 of us looked at each other with an “Aiyo, NO” look on our faces. We didn’t need more popcorn. We wanted the movie to resume, and it did.

Except for flicking ideas from Lakshmi Menon to punish our boyfriends, we had no other discussions. We didn’t realise the length of the movie till our phones started ringing one after the other. All our parents informed us of the heavy rain outside, we didn’t care. They called again to ask if we were even coming home, we wanted to throw our phones away. And the movie came to an end. It was surprising to see there were no bloopers playing along with credits. May be our moms jinxed it, I thought.

“Write about it d, with your English knowledge” she said from behind, while I was riding the bike in the rain. Good movie, rain and mom’s yelling is a terrific combo. Pissed off moms are more dangerous than ruthless Simhas. They don’t have knives and cycle chains but words and sharp voices. Yet, RAMAN plans still continue..

When is *Kadhai, Thiraikadhai, Vasanam, Eyakkam* releasing?

Vadacurry, wish I had known how to whistle

Too late for a movie review I know. This might not even appear on Google, like I care. A hectic Saturday it was and the R of RAMAN gang confirmed the plan. Coming to what RAMAN is- it is a group of 5 girls who have had tough times going out with boys. They either get an outright “No, I do not have time for love” or “My daddy will commit suicide.” Its inception was in 2004 and has been going strong ever since (Silently touching wood).

That day it was just the 3 of us. One was coming from T Nagar straight to the movie, and the two of us had decided to take the share auto. We walked down the infamous Gandhi Road (the street where we run into a lot of our common past, present and future crushes) and reached the bus stop. None of the share autos had space for two. We continued waiting. “Mukesh will save us,” she said. The anti-smoking ads are really for a cause I thought. By then the clouds had gone heavy, and it started raining. So much that no one would’ve known even if we had peed in our pants. Finally, we got into a share auto and reached Kamala theatre. Rs.90 tickets are always  an attraction. We entered the theatre, drenched and walked into the cinema.

“Machi enga da iruka” RJ Balaji said. I wanted to whistle right then. The guy is the manifestation of a typical witty Madras boy- a combination that is hard to find except on Twitter. We settled down as the movie continued. Jai bought a Korean phone, and Sunny Leonne appeared on screen. The video was so disappointing that I wanted to go out and get popcorn for the aunties and uncles beside me. It dragged at a few places where Jai’s Korean phone was being trolled. One or two instances were fine. But it just would never end. And then came the iPhone. Now we understood why the apple shaped bitten slate.

Ah! The bitten apple

That was when a phone started ringing. None of us knew where it was coming from. We thought it was a background score, it wasn’t. I asked the aunty and uncle if their phone was ringing, and they checked too. And then we came to know it was my friend’s. There was no light and it wasn’t an alarm. The phone was locked. But it screamed “TTRINNNNNGGG.” For a second, I thought RJ Balaji was gonna slap her from the screen. We switched it off pressing the button as hard as we could. It was no Korean set but was equally annoying.

We forgot about it and moved on. More popcorn came by. And then RJ Balaji was kidnapped. Everything he spoke was a delight. As Jai went on solving the mystery, we prayed that this guy should be held captive a little longer. The movie came to an end with his exchanging numbers with the kidnappers.

We yapped a little longer, outside the cinema, ate at Krishna Sweets, made plans for Velaila Patta Dhaari and parted. Wish I learn to whistle at least before VIP releases.

P.S: The relationship between my whistling capability and Vadacurry  is the same as the movie’s name and its story.